Discover the Husband You Deserve with Dr. Velma Bagby

Are you searching for love in all the wrong places? As cliched as this might sound, it reflects the painful reality of many unhappy and disappointed Christian women. Fortunately, your search is over, thanks to Dr. Velma Bagby, a certified relationship coach and Bible teacher, who has been happily married for almost 50 years and faithfully served in Christian ministry for 35 years. She is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) and has helped numerous women find rewarding godly relationships.

Further, Dr. Bagby is an award-winning author of Christian fiction/creative nonfiction, co-author with her granddaughter on her children’s books, an ordained Minister (Th.D.), and Speaker. She is the CEO of Adoni Publishing LLC and has a passion for writing about the Christian experience. God is at the forefront of everything she does in ministry, writing, and in serving others.

In her first book, Dr. Bagby detailed conversations about men between a mother and her daughters. In her upcoming release The Catch No One Wants, she explores dating and marriage through the eyes of a father and his daughter. The book will be eye-opening and valuable for women who want to discover the husband they deserve through intentional dating.

Dr. Velma Bagby is no stranger to VBD Magazine because she is one of our prolific contributing writers. You will certainly not want to miss what this woman of God has shared exclusively with us.

VBD: What inspired your first book?

VELMA: Your Adam is Asleep Until God Opens His Eyes was based on my conversations with my adult daughters about men. Each time we had a discussion, they shared it with friends. The friends, in turn, wanted to know more, and my daughters saw the interest. They suggested I write the book, and the rest was history.

VBD: Tell us about your upcoming book.

VELMA: I’m excited about my upcoming release which is set for April 22, 2022. The story is about Greyson Dawson and his daughter Veronica. It tells of his frustration as a father, watching his daughter’s obsession with getting married. It reveals how she is looking for love in all the wrong places in a frantic search for a husband, leaving a trail of hurt and brokenness. Frustrated, Greyson seeks God’s direction. Greyson’s answered prayers prompt him to use what he knows as an expert fisherman. He sees the behavioral similarities between men and fish, so he invents five metaphorical stories he shares with his daughter on their trip. Four stories represent the men she has dated: the Catfish, who enjoys hanging around garbage, the Salmon who does not want to get caught, the Sturgeon who likes to nibble, and the Pufferfish, who is beautiful until agitated—and they all highlight the dating mistakes his daughter continues making even now. While the fifth story—the Goldfish, represents the husband she deserves… the man God has chosen just for her. He is “The CATCH No One Wants,” and he is standing right in front of her.

VBD: What’s one thing you’d want your readers to remember after they read this book?

VELMA: My Aunt had a saying which says, “Something beats a blank.” In terms of this book’s topic, our “something” is the scripture we have been given, and without it, we have a blank (nothing). There is a reason God gave us over sixty scriptures describing the behavior of a fool, warnings not to associate with them, not to become one, and not marry a fool. Use the wisdom we have been given, the tools to help assess who you are dating, and date with an intent (goal) to marry. Trust that this will help you date wisely and safely.

VBD: As an award-winning author, what advice would you give to an aspiring author who is hesitant to start writing?

VELMA: Discover the reason for the hesitancy. Encourage yourself, read “how-to” books or take a class to help you understand writing rules. Become familiar with the genre you have chosen. Join Facebook groups related to your topic and establish relationships with fellow authors.

VBD: For the authors who decided to start, how can they overcome ‘writer’s block’?

VELMA: Writing has seasons. There is a season to rest and step away from writing—writing block. There are seasons of plenty where you are full of ideas and inspired to write on topics you are compassionate about. And there are seasons where you must be poured into—through training, classes, et cetera. So, pay attention to your writing seasons.

VBD: Now for the published authors, what steps should they take to build their reading community?

VELMA: Everything concerning our lives as authors centers around relationships. Your reading community includes influencers, fellow authors, promoters, and those who are readers only. Take your time to get to know them. Connect based on your genre, join groups related to your topic, acknowledge, and comment on their posts and add them to your social media.

VBD: We’re going to now switch to your role of relationship coach. What is the greatest part about being one?

VELMA: It is when I see the insights I have been given to share and how it shines light in the heart of those who need this wisdom. It’s then I know that what I have been given to share touched that life.

VBD: Why should someone make an investment in a relationship coach?

VELMA: Growing up, we had a senior family member who exuded wisdom. In my case, my senior Aunt served as our family coach. Like the author with writer’s block, if we found ourselves stuck and unsure of the direction to move forward or if we found ourselves repeating the same mistakes, whatever the situation—we sought wise guidance from the family’s senior members. The slow demise of the family unit created a void of seniors available to us now, and the coach is simply assuming their role—to impart wisdom to those seeking guidance.

VBD: What’s one of the blessings you’re most grateful for in your own relationship?

VELMA: I am most grateful that I had the sense to keep God at the forefront from the beginning. He has guided and directed our path and, in doing so, helped us to overcome the challenges of maintaining a blessed marriage of 48 years.

VBD: If you could give one relationship advice to your younger self, what would it be?

VELMA: Ask God to change what you need changing and trust the God in your husband to do the same in his life.

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