In an interview with VBD Magazine, the amazing couple talks about partnering with God to restore their marriage after divorce, rebuilding trust, effects of divorce on children, and ways to reestablish love in a marriage.
ENDURING LOVE
Alex and Evangelist Lisa Marie’s love story started when they were in high school when they fell deeply in love.
“We had our first child when I was 16 years old, and by the time I was 25, I was a mother to 3 beautiful children,” Evangelist Lisa Marie tells us. “Our focus became success in business so we could provide a wonderful life for our children. We lost ourselves in the pursuit to build wealth and our priorities fell out of order.
Our marriage suffered greatly. My husband’s repeated infidelity was too much for me to bear. I couldn’t see how our marriage could make it through the heartbreak of betrayal. Life became real once the issues and pain settled in. We felt like we were in over our heads and couldn’t find a life saving device to pull us out of danger. We were drowning in marriage problems and lacked the tools and understanding needed to repair our marriage to make it work.”
FACING DIVORCE
“After 14 years together, Alex and I, along with our 3 young children, faced the devastation of divorce in 2015. That signaled the death of together forever and the stress and uncertainty that came with it was hard to endure. After suffering the effects of a broken home, I made the decision to partner with God and go after total and complete restoration for myself, my husband, our marriage, and our family.
Daily, I submitted my life to the plan and purpose of God. It was then that I discovered who was the true enemy in my life. My focus shifted from my husband and everyone around me, to the master of lies and deception, Satan himself. I began to wage war and fight for what belonged to me. I went into the camp of the enemy and took what was mine!”
REMARRYING EACH OTHER
In some cases, remarriage between divorced couples happens and that was the case for Alex and Evangelist Lisa Marie. In 2016, the couple remarried.
Building their new foundation took time and effort, but they confronted past issues and as time went by, they had a clearer understanding of each other and what they desired in their marriage. “Our marriage was restored into a more solid, tenacious, culpable, and mature union,” Alex discloses.
Evangelist Lisa Marie adds, “This was made possible through having crazy faith, partnering with God, forgiveness, attending marriage and individual counseling regularly, building trust, and being completely committed to each other and our family, all the while making God our new foundation.
Now we are committed to equipping people with the tools necessary to obtain full restoration in their lives after defeat. We believe there is a palace, a place of reward and authority, after every pitfall. In fact, we are made better through the process.”
THE TRUTH ABOUT DIVORCE
“I would say the biggest lie I discovered about divorce is, divorce is the only way to achieve happiness when your marriage is difficult and depressing,” Evangelist Lisa Marie states. “I’ve learned that divorce is like a death in a family. A family never truly recovers, they learn how to live with a broken heart and a broken situation.”
“Often, after suffering a divorce hindsight is 20/20,” Alex remarks. “You’re able to see where you could’ve made an improvement, you see where pride crept in, and you see where the devil got in. We’re left mourning the situation and often regret our decision. The truth is divorce doesn’t bring happiness. It’s better to try and work through the difficulties and get counseling than to divorce.”
EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
Divorce can be difficult for kids, and co-parenting after the separation is not easy. “Try your best to be a family although you’ve suffered divorce,” Evangelist Lisa Marie encourages. “The dynamics of the family may have changed, but it is still an opportunity to pivot into something that could still benefit everyone.”
“The parents should try their best to remain on the same page when raising their children,” Alex asserts. “Children need stability and love. Both homes should offer love, stability, and consistency. This will provide the children a stable environment versus an environment where the children are traumatized by a broken family while the two parents are healing.”
Evangelist Lisa Marie also recommends, “Doing activities as a family occasionally, even if it’s just catching a family dinner. When Alex and I were divorced, we made it a point to remain on the same page when it comes to the upbringing of our children. Although our children spent time between both homes, we both tried our best to see our children every day. Even if that meant just picking them up from school and dropping them off. Those couple of minutes in the car were valuable for me, Alex, and our children. Also, we spent time as a family at the children’s sports events, birthday parties, holidays, and an occasional meal out.”
REBUILDING TRUST
Can a husband and wife rebuild trust? Alex and Evangelist Lisa Marie agree that rebuilding trust is possible and recommend the following:
- Both of you must make the decision to be committed to each other and the marriage.
- Trust is not established overnight. Be prepared for a long journey and have patience with each other in the process.
- Have open communication and good boundaries. Let your spouse know where you’re going and what you’re doing before you do it. Doing this will help your spouse to feel well-informed so that he/she does not become suspicious.
- Come clean with all secrets and lies and keep yourselves from creating any new secrets.
- Remove passwords and anything that may cause suspicion.
- Make the decision to be honest in the relationship.
